Yer lookin’ a bit peely wally
The wheels on the bus go round and round…..all through……Edinburgh’s darkest corners. The Ghost Bus Tour did not disappoint, and I thoroughly enjoyed my evening with these blokes. Typically I just take walking tours, but it was nice to sit and relax after having worked a flight over to EDI and then a (too) short nap in my (too) comfy hotel bed. But I did manage to get my arse up and make my way over to the meeting spot at Deacon Brodie’s Tavern.
Our conductor was quite comical and I thoroughly enjoyed his commentary. The driver, Angus, was a bit hard to understand at first. He really just groans. But his dialogue with the conductor made it quite hilarious. I couldn’t tell if there was an actual intercom between the Conductor and Angus or if “Angus” was pre-recorded.
The bus was a double-decker and our Conductor warned us not to fall down the stairs, like a customer did the night before. He would have broken both legs if it hadn’t been for the rope around his neck…..(I got a good chuckle there.)
We learned about a lady in blue, a lady in red, Spring Hill Jack, the body snatchers/serial killers Burke & Hare, Bloody Judge George McKenzie who haunts the graveyard and has been known to poke, burn, scratch, and harm anyone who comes too close, and then poor Maggie Dixon who was hanged for concealing a pregnancy.
We walked through the oldest graveyard in the city, on the grounds of St. Cuthbert’s Parish, where Agatha Christy’s second marriage took place. This place dates back to 1127, perhaps even as early as the 6th century, when another church once stood on the grounds. All sorts of treasures there. For instance, a leaden urn was discovered inside a leaden coffin in 1773. The urn had an interesting smell and in it was an embalmed human heart, which may have been that of a crusader, returned to his family from the Holy Land.
We drove through Charlotte’s Square, which is perhaps the most haunted part of Edinburgh, according to our guide, and past Greyfriars courtyard, where a little terrier dog called Bobby wouldn’t leave his masters grave until his own death 14 years later. A statue was later erected of the little pup.
Old Granny Black, a witch who allegedly feasted on children was another story our Conductor shared. And we learned of the Queensbury house with a mad son who roasted his family alive. These tours are so full of warming tales, aren’t they?
Then towards the end, there was some banter about Angus finding blood on the floor, but the Conductor suggested it was just a jelly donut. I don’t really remember the conclusion, but the back-and-forth was entertaining. There were special effects onboard, and a camera that showed the upstairs, the downstairs, and everybody’s feet on the “foot cam”. I couldn’t tell if that was a real camera or if had been pre-recorded, but at one point the camera showed a rat running past everyone’s feet. Clever. Then there was some commotion and an exorcism was going to have to be performed on the bus. Eventually, after some raucous and a strange old hag appearing on the bus’s cameras, the lights went out and the bus filled up with smoke and we all died. Fortunately, that was just theatrics and we survived the bloody bus tour.
